I should've been an actress. My piano Teacher Mrs. Brack, told my mom that. And I'd make a damn good one too. I can cry at the drop of a feather. Van Flores asked me, after an improv I did, "what space were you in to be that FOCUSED". I didn't know. I just did it. THANK YOU ACADEMY! Well, at least I got to do that stint.
I wanted to be an astronaut. I must've read all of Isaac Ansimov's books and then some. I was not too good at math and I get motion sickness easily. Now, I just astral project.
I wanted to be an Architect. My Gr. 8 teacher assigned our class an architectural project. Everyone got into groups. I wanted to be on my own. Mr. Kennedy said, "I don't expect anyone to get an A, but do your best." I was the only one who got an A. But much to my mother's chagrin, I cut a piece off of her silk, leopard print fabric to use for the upholstery in my tiny sofa - not sure what happened after. I think I was grounded.
I wanted to be a poet. I came across Khalil Gibran's "The Prophet" when I was only 9 years old. He is my fave. I kept reading the poem
ON CHILDREN. It was something that had stuck on me. Good thing. I left my husband in 1990. My son was not with me. For 13 years he was not with me. People would ask, "How can you do it? Not having your son with you?" It hurt like hell. You don't know how much. But I remembered that poem
ON CHILDREN. It helped me to get thru. Synchronocity.
My son and I talk almost everyday on MSN (saves on long distance). He loves me. I love him. The fact that I was not there for him all those years had not changed the fact that I was his mother and that he loved me. I always knew this. I just feel better now, since he was able to actually tell me. Time heals. Love is ETERNAL. We joke that perhaps we were together in another life and that he was most likely my father, brother or husband.
I wanted to be a Lawyer. My short lived ex - J.B. once told me, "My Dad would've loved you," his Dad was a lawyer that taught at Osgoode-Hall, "Why Johnnie?", "cause, you never back down from an argument." It's true. I love confrontation. Nothing scares me. Not even death.
Did I tell you I got my 15 seconds of FAME?! Check out Toronto Life Fashions September 1995 issue.
3 years ago I almost had a nervous breakdown. It was one of those moments where you look back on your life and think, "SHIT, I never even got to do what I wanted to do". I cried in hysteria. My boyfriend just left me alone in the room. It was pathetic. Later that evening we stepped out to pick up a few grocery items. I was still feeling like DEATH. Then there it was. The "O" Magazine. I flipped thru the pages as we were standing by the cash register. Then I saw it. "IT IS NEVER TOO LATE TO BE WHAT YOU MIGHT HAVE BEEN". It was a sign. Synchronocity again. Thanks Oprah. I felt much better after.
I've always heard my Mom say, "Life Begins at 40". I just turned 40 this year. So in MY MIND. My life has begun. I've decided to write about this chapter of my existence. Besides, this is so much easier than writing and sending my stories via email.
